She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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