I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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