It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize