She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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