Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize