Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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