i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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