the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm getting married
To pizza
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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