so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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