This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize