he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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