Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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