doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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