i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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