He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
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