so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
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I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
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My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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