He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize