apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just had sex on a roof
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize