I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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