I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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