Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  jesus mom

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  (914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum? (773): jesus mom http://tfl.nu/qe6d
  Replies (11) Good night (823) Bad night (1766)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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  (909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn
  Replies (14) Good night (4483) Bad night (522)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He could be your dad!

  (206): View more from Washington

  We discussed that right before he asked for my number

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  (425): He could be your dad! (206): We discussed that right before he asked for my number http://tfl.nu/jztz
  Replies (12) Good night (711) Bad night (2340)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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  (314): sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke. http://tfl.nu/stms
  Replies (15) Good night (4140) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

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  (518): it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while.... http://tfl.nu/r6bs
  Replies (26) Good night (5424) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2011) Bad night (3502) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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  (978): My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night http://tfl.nu/zzxc
  Replies (10) Good night (4482) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!

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  (515): I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! http://tfl.nu/9v3y
  Replies (16) Good night (2981) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?

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  (772): how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground? http://tfl.nu/issb
  Replies (19) Good night (4326) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers

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  (973): now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers http://tfl.nu/pdyb
  Replies (10) Good night (1451) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
  Replies (21) Good night (3646) Bad night (1763) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

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  (651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q
  Replies (7) Good night (1716) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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  (+44): Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome! http://tfl.nu/jhr8
  Replies (2) Good night (1848) Bad night (335)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes

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  (303): idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes http://tfl.nu/2i45
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"

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  (303): I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis" http://tfl.nu/qqqf
  Replies (6) Good night (1359) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt

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