Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize