Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Randomize
Follow @tfln