Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize