high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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