I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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