I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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