i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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