Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize