Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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