And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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