Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
two words: eviction party
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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