you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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