yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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