So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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