made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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