You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize