I wish I only lived at night.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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