upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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