dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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