she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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