So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
