So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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