Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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