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  • 74 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:43pm

    Ive eaten pretzels funnier than this.

  • 73 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:10pm

    Actually it is dick 9:37 Dich means "you" in the accusative form (i.e. Ich liebe dich, meaning "I love you", not "I love fat".) , the phlegm noise distincts the two from each other, but nice try attempting to prove me wrong.

  • 69 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:24pm

    he was probably fat and has obviously failed to lose any weight therefore has a small cock, according to his theory

  • 61 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 1:32am

    U stupid if u believe that shit!!! Punch that fool in the eye just for damn lying!!!

  • 50 45
    Submitted by KickinItIn2o1o on Jul 22, 10 at 1:21am

    Upic win bruh

  • 66 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:04pm

    I agree with 9:55. Why do people constantly say these are fake? Do you know what everyone said while texting last night? Or ever for that matter? No you don't. So stop acting like you do. This could have actually been part of a real conversation.

  • 52 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 7:47am

    I thought the OP was a girl, hence the "kick him in the nuts" remark I made

  • 63 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:17pm

    DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGES?!! Tom, is that you...are you in here? marry me!? your dick doesnt actually grow you just stop being a fatass and can actually see it

  • 54 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:21pm

    LOL sayin the Dude has a small dick

  • 55 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:55pm

    I think OP'S theory was "lose a pound, gain an inch" therefore "gain a pound, lose an inch" Fucking hilarious.

  • 55 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:21pm

    That guy should've gotten a black eye for having such a little dick AND being fat. And on a side note, it's pretty funny and coincidential but in German "dick" means fat.

  • 52 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 7:49pm

    kinda funny. The reverse is true for women.

  • 60 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 1:08am

    I dislike when people can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're," however knowledgeable they may be in other areas of life.

  • 53 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:39pm

    DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGE?

  • 51 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 2:26pm

    ummm....7:47, If the OP was a girl why would a guy give her a black eye? Funny how you just assume some random dude would hit a girl

  • 53 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:58pm

    "I hope you kicked him in the nuts for giving you a black eye!" what nuts? i thought that was the original point haha

  • 52 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:32pm

    that's why i only date guys with eating disorders.

  • 51 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:39pm

    Period much 9:37 (1)?

  • 49 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 30, 09 at 9:31pm

    Women lose an inch of dick size when they lose 35 lbs? Bahaha

  • 58 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 5:25am

    i definitely dont want to hear about your opinions if you cant spell

  • 51 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 11:29am

    I really don't think the dick gains an inch... It's all about losing an inch around the belly and being able to see it again

  • 56 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:37pm

    It's true, I gained 40 lbs and went from barely 8" to barely 7"

  • 54 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:40pm

    That's fat enough to declare your willie as legally DEAD!

  • 47 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 9:45am

    THIS IS TRUE- I'm a female-I've witnessed this

  • 46 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 3:40am

    Do y'all think th op was a girl or a guy??

  • 56 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:34pm

    Back to school, back to school, to prove to Daddy that im no fool.

  • 50 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:16am

    Eww 8:02. I DEFINATELY don't wanna hear about fat people sex!! Gross

  • 47 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:11pm

    I hope you kicked him in the nuts for giving you a black eye!

  • 56 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 12:56pm

    sounds worth it to me

  • 51 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:53pm

    Lol I'd call the black eye worth it

  • 45 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 1:25am

    We've got German Grammar Nazis on our hands... Wait...

  • 47 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 12:02am

    yeah 11:10, I've got you're back on this. i hate when people correct other people and don't know what they're talking about

  • 43 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 7:57am

    Watch ppl start bustin ass to lose 35 llbs lol

  • 54 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:21pm

    I don't get it? Funny? 

  • 46 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 3:19am

    1:08 you and i should be friends

  • 55 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:28pm

    Funny yet fake. Give you props for thinking this up

  • 43 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:22pm

    It is true I saw it on tv

  • 44 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:59pm

    Wait. So. Why don't people with small cocks gain alot of weightthen lose it?

  • 39 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:55pm

    8:28 who the fuck gives you the right to call fake. how the hell would you fucking know

  • 48 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:37pm

    hey 9:21, it is dich, not dick, you need the phlegm in the back of the throat, nice try though. It is hysterical, wow, what a way to call someone fat.

  • 40 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:39pm

    not really that funny.

  • 46 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 8:02pm

    I am married to a "fat" man and his dick is huge! And the sherry on top of this delish cake is that his weight gives him the ability to really drive it home! Not like these little light weights!

  • 41 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 2:44am

    witty brookfield bastards