i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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