You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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