ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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