I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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