Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize